Guest Post: A Walmart Story By Elaine Murphy

December 9, 2015December 8, 2015 Stephanie G. Cox, M.S.Ed

Just got back from the Walmart. My husband and I heard a child screaming in what sounded like pain. I’m ignoring it realizing that I’m in Walmart and that’s a common sound and I don’t want to go off on anybody because one of these days, I’m going to be killed during one of my “parenting” interventions. The crying went on and on unabated. I was having a panic attack and told my husband that I had to find this child obviously in distress and no doubt being abused.

In the frozen food aisle, there they were. A beautiful toddler boy with long brown hair being cradled on his young mother’s lap as she sat on the floor rocking him back and forth telling him that she’s sorry that he’s upset. She also told him, “I’m sorry it’s not here. We’ll talk to the store people and see if it will be in soon.”

Then, an older girl about ten walked up and said, “They said it won’t be here for a couple of days.” As she rubbed the little boy’s head.

The mother looked annoyed at this information, thanked her daughter and told the little boy again, “I’m so sorry.” The little boy nodded his head as he made a valiant attempt to choke back his tears.

The mother placed him gently back into the shopping cart and they went on their way. I walked over to the section of frozen food that was causing all of the distress and guessed by the empty section that is supposed to have a particular brand of vegan hot dogs that this may be what upset the little toddler.

What a great, loving, peaceful mom and big sister!

Guest Post: Kinderen Van Mijn Hart (Children Of My Heart) By Hannah Klassen

October 27, 2015October 27, 2015 Stephanie G. Cox, M.S.Ed

They twist the words, thus, making us out to be fools. They are very good at their verbal gymnastics. I fall to the floor; the grief within my heart weighs down on me like a boulder. Tears flow down my cheeks, like a river. I weep for thousand years.

Oh, *Kinderen van mijn hart, they hurt you, and they confuse your minds, they make you believe that you deserved it, that it was love that drove them to do it. Oh my dear little ones, so young, so trusting, and they twist that and warp that.

Oh beloved Papa, the darkness consumes and devours, distorts and destroys. How dare they use Your name! How dare they say it’s Your will and Your command! For what they do is of great darkness. To wound a child like that. It is not just the body they harm, but also the heart, soul, spirit and mind. They say that they do it out love, but what kind of love would force a child into a helpless position and strike them, inflicting pain and fear?

While within their hearts, they have great love for their children, but what drives them to slap the buttocks is not love, but fear. It is fear that drives their hand. Fear of what will happen if they don’t. Fear of what others will think if they don’t. Fear of what God will do to them if they don’t.

Oh, what a twisted web of deception, those who sit on their thrones and tell us what to do, that their way is the right way. Why have we made them our “gods,” and obey them without question? They are mere humans, like us. So why do we take their words as if they are holy? Just because their kids appear to be wonderful, productive, and responsible citizens. We know that things aren’t always what they appear. How many times have horrible crimes become known and we cry out in shock, because we really bought the act that person was playing. We say, “how could they have done that?” They were such a good person and we list off all the things that we believe makes someone a good person.
Are spankings from God? Does spanking cause a child to fear? Is there fear in love or does love cast out fear? Does it cause a child, when they have done something wrong to lie, hide and escape a spanking? Does spanking soften a child’s heart or does it harden it, thus, they have less compassion for their sibling who gets spanked too? Does it produce life, light, and love? Does it produce peace, gentleness, kindness and compassion for others? What is the fruit of spanking?

“As I explained, and article explains, spanking isn’t violence! You obviously have no clue! My mother was spanked, her mother was spanked, I was spanked, I never felt threatened, I never felt unloved, I never felt abused, neither did my mom, or hers! And their generations where better behaved,more Morgan’s, respect and values, today people are raising spoiled rotten brats who feel privileged and manipulate and get bribed! That turns out thugs and brats! Spanking is not hitting, a big difference! Hitting is in anger, uncontrolled and teaches nothing.”

“It’s kids today who are more violent and harsh and less sympathetic! Back when I was a kid, kids where kind and we all got along, a bully was humiliated and kids stood up for bullied. The generations before where respectful and kind and had more values. Kids today are rude and brash,curse and ignore authority and rules!”

“And I work with kids! Even in early nineties/ late eighties they where better behaved! Today you can get cussed out and assaulted by a three year old! Oh….and mommy doesn’t spank so kid will never empathize because he doesn’t know what it feels like!”

When I read these words, my heart becomes broken. If this person is the posterchild for a properly spanked kid, then we all should weep until there are no more tears to shed. When Jesus was here on earth and was with people, who was the people He hung out with? The very people this person is calling names.

Our Papa does not see any of His children in this light. Yes, He sees all of our brokenness and wrongdoing. But, that doesn’t cause Him to despise us, rather, it moves His heart with compassion. Tears fall from His eyes, for He feels our pain and empathizes with our struggles. When we’ve really screwed up and feel like a piece of (expletive deleted), what does Papa do? He embraces us, holds us in His arms, and tells us over and over again that He will love us forever and ever and there is nothing we can do that will ever change that. He pours His love upon us, with eyes so soft and caring, with a face of such affection, this is our God, this is our Papa.

*Kinderen van mijn hart (children of my heart).

Guest Post: Pro-spankers And Their Verbal Gymnastics By Hannah Klassen

October 21, 2015October 21, 2015 Stephanie G. Cox, M.S.Ed

What so many pro-spankers fail to admit is what spanking truly is. They use all kinds of verbal gymnastics, to avoid explaining spanking as it really is.
The intent of the parent is to use physical pain to make misbehavior undesirable to the child. They say that the are motivated by love, and they believe that justifies their actions. Though, it will never change the fact that they are using their size and strength to put a child in a helpless position, so that they can slap the buttocks, thus causing enough pain and fear, in the hopes the child will never repeat the misbehavior again.

And that statement that they don’t leave a mark, how does one determine what that means. Is bruising, leaving a mark? Is causing redness, mean leaving a mark? Where is the line, and when does it cross into abuse?

I believe, while not all spankings can be classified as physical abuse, they all are a clear violation of a child’s physical boundaries. I would say that “loving” spankings would actually be more classed as psychological abuse, because it forces a child to choose between calling their parent out as a liar, or submitting to being hurt and forcing themselves to agree with their parents. And it’s even worse when parents bring God into it, saying that God commands them to do it. Thus the child wouldn’t just being going against their parents, but also God. That’s a very difficult position to put a child in. How many adults would be able to stand up and disagree, when the stakes are so high?