Think You’re Not Damaged From Being Spanked/Hit? Think Again!

There is a video going around Facebook from a mom who thought it would be funny to show the world that her little boy put on ten pairs of underwear to protect himself from being spanked/hit for, yes this makes sense, hitting his sister. Then she proudly announces that she still spanked/hit him on the leg.

The child looks afraid and has a shy smile on his face during the video. But, pro-spankers can’t see that. They insist that he looks “just fine.”

Then the pro-spankers proceed to laugh at the child’s fear and pain. They applaud his mom for inflicting pain on him, then taking a video of him showing how many pairs of underwear he wore, and proudly proclaiming that his efforts to protect himself didn’t work.

A lot of the pro-spankers insisted that they were not damaged from being spanked/hit as children. They kept laughing at the pain. Then when people like me tried to show them that this wasn’t funny, and that children are human beings too that never deserve to be hit, they went into attack mode.

So, you think you’re not damaged? Think again!

1. Do you laugh at videos showing children fearful and in pain?

2. Do you believe spanking/hitting children is “fine” and even “good?”

3. Are you defensive when people like me stand up for children?

4. Are you unwilling to consider gentle yet firm discipline?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, I’m afraid you are. And if you answered “No” to these questions, then you probably understand you have been damaged by spanking and don’t ever want to hurt your children in the same way.

Here’s the thing. Most damage from spanking/hitting is unseen unless you know what you are looking for. We now have mounds of research from scholars such as Gershoff, Straus, Holden, Turner, and Miller showing that corporal punishment puts children at a higher risk of anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, brain damage, denial of pain, anger, aggression, learning problems, sexual dysfunction, and continuing the cycle of violence toward children. It even puts children at risk for health problems later in life. Just Google these names and tons of valid, reliable studies will come up. Plus more from others.

People can be sick with cancer and one would never know it by looking at them. Appearances are often deceiving. Pro-spankers tend to exhibit symptoms such as lack of empathy, aggression, and just plain meanness.

This shows that they are indeed damaged by being spanked/hit as children.

I do not want my children laughing at another’s pain. This world would be so much better if people would discipline (teach, guide) children. Violence begets violence. Respect begets respect.

If you read this post and get nothing out of it and still believe you’re not damaged, think again!

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The Mocking Tone of Pro-spankers

I am sickened and saddened by the harsh, mocking tone of yet another pro-spanking meme circulating Facebook.

It’s as if being hit and/or hitting a child is not serious. It also further proves that pro-spankers lack empathy and compassion. To truly believe that children need a “good whipping or spanking” in order to learn limits and boundaries shows a lack of regard for the fruits of the Spirit, the child’s feelings and dignity, and for people who were spanked and did not turn out “just fine.”  The reality is that if you believe inflicting pain on a child is “ok,” you’re are not fine.

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Denial and repression are very strong coping mechanisms when one has been hurt by their parents.  It’s easier to deny and repress and even mock the pain rather than deal with it.  It’s very sad that this not only perpetuates violence towards children, but it turns some into downright angry and hateful people.

Yes, children who are physically punished/abused can learn empathy, but it is much more difficult for them, and they often learn it from someone other than their parents. The research and actions of pro-spankers clearly demonstrates that physical punishment/abuse limits the development of empathy in children.

But, you can fight this. You can become gentle. I encourage all pro-spankers to search their hearts and ask if they really want their children to be like them; mocking, angry, un-empathetic, degrading, and mean?

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